


Threads of Light

by Selah



Series: Shinjitsu to Gensou [73]
Category: Aiolin, Fest Vainqueur, Jrock, Plastic Tree
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 13:03:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14977724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selah/pseuds/Selah
Summary: Figuring out what he wanted from life was the easy part. Impressing his senpai, well, that was a something else.





	1. some sort of prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the June challenge at VKY @DW. ^_^ I have used "Rei" and "Yuuto" for Reis and You of Aiolin respectively because those were the names they were using when Hikarito met them in his previous bands.   
> This chapter spans 2014-2016 and Hikarito's time in AsteL and an:Re. All of this is purely speculation, there is no data to support any of this for reasons why those bands failed.

Despite the expectations from his professors, Hikarito always knew the direction he intended to take with his music. As far as he was concerned, it didn't matter what anyone else thought, he knew what he was doing. Music was his life, he was going to make it on his own terms. And anyone who didn't like it could get fucked.

When he saw the advert for band members, he hadn't hesitated at all. He and Rei hit it off right away, but it didn't take long for Shun and Seiya to warm up to him, too. It was a good fit, they all worked well together, he had a good feeling about this. These were good people, surely they'd be able to work together to make music of which he could be proud. He'd show his stuck-up professors they were wrong, he wasn't wasting his talents.

~*~*~

“No, you know what? Fuck you, man. Fuck. You.”

Hikarito could see the others flinching as Shun slammed the studio door behind him, but he didn't say anything. He certainly wasn't going to apologize. If Shun didn't want to work with him anymore, then, well, he'd let this band go and move on to the next one. What was it they used to say? Most bandmen went through three to five band changes before finding the right fit ... or leaving the life. Hikarito wouldn't be defeated so easily.

“Hi-kun....”

“I'll handle it,” he said quietly, already trying to calculate how this was all going to work.

“He's probably just blowing off steam anyway, right?” Rei suggested.

“Right,” he agreed, not sure he believed that was even possible. Well, it wouldn't hurt anything to give Shun a couple of days, first. Just in case. No sense in being too hasty.

~*~*~

“I'm sorry, Hika-kun, I am, but I just....”

“Yeah, no, I get it,” he said, flashing Chihiro a supportive smile he didn't feel. Still couldn't manage to even go six months with a band. Maybe he wasn't as good a judge of people as he thought? 

On the other hand, maybe he was going about this all wrong. Working with a band, there were too many points of failure, too many factors outside of his own control. He had his own YouTube channel and okay, it wasn't a big following, but it was a place to start. Maybe he needed to get back to that? There was a whole world out there, maybe he was coming at this all from the wrong direction. Where was it written that he had to make visual kei music as part of a band? There were other soloists in the scene, he could be one of them.

~*~*~

“Stop being a jackass, I know you're still writing music, Hikarito-kun!” Rei insisted, slapping a sheaf of papers on the table. Hikarito kept jotting down notes.

“Oh come on, you know music's more fun when you're doing it with others. Besides, you and I _both_ know you don't _actually_ play everything.”

He wasn't wrong, but that wasn't the point. He ... okay, he wasn't _happy_ with where things were, but at least he was in control. Teaming up with others ... it would be a step in the wrong direction, wouldn't it? And yet he could still hear Rei bouncing around behind him, whining and begging. He didn't really want to listen, but the little shit could be hard to ignore when he really put his mind to it. Like he was just then.

“Come oooooonnnnnnn, do this with us. Sei-kun and Yuu-kun are already on board, we just need you for the vocals. And the violin, of course. And okay, writing, too. I mean, we've got some ideas, but you're the trained pro, yeah? Come on, come on, you know you wanna!”

“Rei...,” he said, sighing.

“Say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes, say yes,” the bassist chanted, bouncing in place now. Hikarito could feel himself laughing, even in spite of everything, and finally put down his pen. Rei wasn't _completely_ wrong and, well, his friends needed him, obviously. Could he really just turn his back on his friends?

“Okay, yes, fine, but only because it's you guys,” he grumbled, trying to give Rei one of his firmer scowls. It didn't seem to have any effect, though.

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Rei shouted, punching the air and bouncing even more. “Come on, come on, Sei-kun promised yakiniku if I got you to say yes.”

Maybe later he would regret this, but for right now, he was going to enjoy how happy his friends were. And yakiniku on Seiya's wallet. He could still release things now and then on his personal YouTube, same as before, things wouldn't have to change all that much. And hey, this could be a good thing, right? Okay, he had been in bands with all three of them before and none of them had gone anywhere, but things could still turn out differently this time, right?

“Do you have a name for this band yet?”

“Nah, we figured we'd talk it out together, once I talked you into joining. And possibly leading? You ... sort of have more experience than the rest of us.”

He wasn't so sure that was a fair assessment, but ... yeah, he could take charge of things, if that's what they wanted. At least then they would definitely be making things on his terms.

“Then ... what do you think about Aiolin for a band name?”


	2. some sort of senpai

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> timestamp: early April, 2018  
> If you haven't heard Hikarito's cover of [Pura's "Spica"](https://youtu.be/vWToyB62HUE), you need to as that's what started all this. « indicates an outgoing text while » precedes an incoming one.
> 
> And yes, Gaku is a supernatural critter in Gensou. I keep telling them they need to stop with this, but no one ever listens to me.... XD

It wasn't like Hikarito had thought that much about it when he had been making the video. “Spica” was an older song now, working out an acoustic arrangement had been something of a side project, something he could do to give himself a break while working on Aiolin's album, as strange as that might sound to someone else. Of course with all the work he had put into it, well, it would have been a waste _not_ to record it, edit it into a proper video, and post it to his personal-professional YouTube channel. But he still hadn't been expecting anything much from it, happily adding more to his channel a couple of days later with the official announcement of the album. “Stardust Crystal” was far more important than any declaration of fanboy-ness on his part. YouTube was full of Plastic Tree covers, his wasn't anything special and the numbers supported that.

In fact, with everything else going on as the band got ready for summer, he had put the video out of his mind almost completely. That was until a breathless studio intern rushed in to tell him he had a guest. Hikarito was still trying to process the words when the studio door opened again and he felt his heart stop. That couldn't actually be....

“Sorry, I can see you're working hard, I'll only be a few minutes, I just wanted –.”

“Ah, no, it's fine, please ... we, um, were just breaking for lunch anyway,” he said, not quite sure what he was trying to achieve, but....

“Oh? In that case, could I interest you in lunch, Hikarito-san?” his senpai asked, a surprisingly shy smile on his face. And yet again, Hikarito could have sworn the whole world stopped. _The_ Arimura Ryuutarou had just invited him to lunch as if they were regular colleagues. And then his heart restarted with a loud pounding in his ears as he realized he had been standing there gaping like an idiot for at least a full minute.

“Yes, of course! Let me just ... yes,” he stammered, checking his pockets and then grabbing his jacket. He wasn't sure if his bandmates were being quiet to keep from laughing at him or if they were jealous ... and at the moment he didn't entirely care. Though it was hard not to trip over his own tongue with apologies as he walked out of the studio with one of his music idols.

“Such a lovely day, isn't it?” Arimura asked as he took a right out of their studio building. “There's a ramen shop a couple blocks from here, how does that sound?”

“Ramen is fine,” Hikarito replied, inwardly pleased with his self-control. It wasn't easy, of course, a corner of his brain still running a thousand kilometers a second because he was in the company of an idol, a musical genius even. Of course Plastic Tree's music was a collaborative effort, always had been, but still....

It wasn't until they were seated with their bowls of ramen that Arimura took off his sunglasses and actually smiled a full, genuine smile.

“I'm imagine you're wondering why I came looking for you,” Arimura said and for a moment Hikarito forgot how to breathe.

“I, um....”

“It was actually my ... wife who found your channel, quite by accident,” his senpai said, still with that soft smile. “Of course, when she saw you had an arrangement of 'Spica', she had to share it. Can I ask, why that song?”

“Well, um, it's been a favorite from the first time I heard it and I always thought it would translate well to piano and violin, so I went for it. I ... I hope it was okay?” he stammered, suddenly terrified he was about to get into real, serious trouble. What if his senpai hated it? Hated _him_ for creating it? He might not be able to live with that.

“You did really well with it, I'm impressed. You put it together all yourself, right?”

“Well, I had some technical help, but yeah, I did the arrangement and then recorded the layers myself.”

“It was really good, I'm looking forward to your album now, too.”

“R-really?” he stammered.

“Really,” Arimura confirmed with a nod. “You have an incredible talent, your professors must be so proud.”

“Not ... not so much,” Hikarito mumbled, ducking his head. “My violin instructor thinks I'm wasting my talents in pop music.”

“Do _you_ think you're wasting your talent?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then your instructor's an idiot,” Arimura said with a sharp nod. “As long as _you're_ happy with the music you're making, that's the most important part, yeah?”

Hikarito didn't know what to say to any of that, feeling both a bit scandalized and yet reassured.

“I won't say it's going to be easy, you already know better, yeah? But it _will_ be worth it, once you find what works for you. And, you know, if you need someone to listen and offer advice....”

He could feel his whole face going red at that. Surely he hadn't heard that right. The way Arimura's lips were twitching, though....

“Oh, am I too exalted a senpai for that?” the older vocalist said, lips curved up into a smile. “I'm sure I can connect you with someone closer to your level, if that's the problem. Hmm ... Gackt-san's You-kun perhaps?”

“Ehh?? Oh, no, I ... I mean it's not....” But he wasn't even sure what it was he was saying anymore.

“Still too high a level?” the older man teased.” Ah, I know, I should put you in touch with Satsuki-san, he plays all three and sings as well, he would be a much better mentor than me, certainly.”

“Y-you ... you don't have to do that,” senpai,” he mumbled, heat rising in his cheeks and ears as he watched his senpai doing something with his phone.

“Oh he's not even in the country right now, I don't think he gets back until next week, you can relax,” Arimura said. If that was supposed to be reassuring.... And then Arimura was frowning at him.

“Hikarito-san ... a good senpai helps those below rise to his level. We help each other reach higher and in doing so make our industry better. If you need help, of any kind, all you have to do is ask, okay? Even if you're not sure it's something I can help you with. At worst, I'll have to ask you to wait while I find someone better able to help you. There is nothing, _nothing_ you could ask me that would make me slam the door in your face, I promise.”

If he hadn't been red before, he certainly was now. And yet....

“Thank you, senpai,” he said, bowing as low as the table between them would allow. “I will do my best to be worthy of your faith.”

“You already are, ne?” Arimura said, another soft smile on his lips. “Just remember to pay it forward when your time comes, yeah?”

“I will.”

~*~*~

They were all waiting for him when he came back from lunch, three eager faces watching him intently.

“So,” Rei said, smirking, “long lunch.”

“Was not,” Hikarito grumbled as he slipped off his jacket.

“You were gone for, like, almost two hours,” Seiya countered. “That's a long lunch.”

“Oh.” Well that was embarrassing. “Sorry, guess I lost track of time,” he said, guilt nipping at him. All the more reason to get right back to work then ... not that his bandmates seemed that interested.

“Yeah? Doing what?” Yuuto asked, but there was something about the way he was smiling....

“Talking, eating. You know, the usual.”

“Talking. Right,” Rei said, smirking. “Did you at least use a condom?”

“Rei! We just _talked_!”

“Uh-huh. That's why you smell like a bar,” his friend countered, wrinkling his nose a little.

“I do not! I mean, senpai smoked a little, but....”

“Are you trying to cover for him being a terrible lay?” Yuuto asked with faked innocence.

“What?? Fucking hell, guys, seriously, we didn't have sex, he's _married_!”

“Since when?” Seiya asked.

“I don't know, I didn't ask, but he told me his wife was the one to find my video,” Hikarito said, shrugging. Why couldn't his bandmates just let this go? They had better things to be doing than this sort of pointless gossiping.

“So married and still having crappy sex with bangya half his age? You really ought to be picking a higher quality of senpai, Hika-kun,” the drummer muttered.

“... you _do_ know that just because someone posts something on the internet, that doesn't make it true, yeah?”

“And if it was just one girl, yeah, I'd agree, but there's _years_ of it. He's a druggie who's shit in bed, he probably doesn't even write his own music,” Seiya said with a little snort.

“Shut up!” Hikarito snapped. “You don't know him at all, so just shut up!”

Grabbing his jacket, he stormed out of the studio, shaking with his anger. He was so upset he could hardly believe it. Worse, he was nearly home before he realized he had left his laptop and guitar back at the studio. He didn't really want to go back there just yet, but everything they had been working on together was still at the studio. Huffing a noise of frustration, he turned and headed for a nearby Starbucks.

He was just getting his drink when he realized his phone was going crazy. Flipping through the notifications, he ignored nearly all of them, only hesitating at the last one. It was just a text from Arimura, confirming that he had the right number, nothing special. He started at the message for several seconds before impulse overcame sense.

**« Did you really mean it? That I can ask you anything?**

He had no idea what had prompted the question, but something in him just wouldn't let go.

**» Of course. What's on your mind?**

**« How long have you been married?**

**» Three years, why?**

Hikarito hesitated. Not that there was any _good_ way of asking a senpai if he knew what fangirls said about him on the internet. Still, any way he tried to phrase it, it sounded intrusive, inappropriate. It wasn't even really any of his business. Rumors were just that, so why was this bothering him so much?

**» Hikarito-san? Is everything okay?**

But he knew why. Arimura Ryuutarou was an idol and the thought that he was even just a little bit like _that_ ... he couldn't bear it. He actually jumped when his phone started ringing, biting his lip at the name on the caller ID. But he couldn't just ignore it, could he?

“Senpai....”

_“You worried me, Hikarito-san. What's wrong?”_

“I don't ... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have bothered you.”

_“It's fine, really, as long as you're okay, yeah?”_

It wasn't and he wasn't, but that was almost besides the point.

“I'm really sorry for disturbing you, senpai. Thank you again for lunch, it was an honor.”

_“Hikarito-san –.”_

But while he was sure his senpai had more to say, Hikarito hung up and shoved his phone back into his pocket. It was rude, but it was the least worst option. He just hoped he hadn't ruined everything.

~*~*~

Hikarito would have denied it if asked, of course, but the truth was he was hiding from both his responsibilities and his bandmates. From Starbucks, he had taken a walk through a local park, then caught a bus across the ward to a small shrine. He was still there, sitting on a bench and not seeing anything, when a shadow fell over him.

“Well, you don't _look_ particularly sick or injured,” a gentle voice said at the same time the speaker tucked a lock of soft brown hair back behind his ear. “Hikarito-san? I'm –.”

“Fest Vainqueur's Gaku, it's a pleasure, senpai,” he said, bowing respectfully.

“Hiding from the world?” Gaku asked as he sat down beside him, crossing one long leg over the other. Even in casual jeans and a nondescript spring jacket, Gaku exuded a sort of refinement that had Hikarito's mouth running dry for a moment.

“I ... I don't know that I'd say that,” he said, swallowing against sudden nerves.

“Mm, well, little tip? Next time you hang up on a cat, don't try hiding at a shrine,” his senpai said, his smile lighting up his whole face.

“Ehh?”

“Tarouneko-senpai? He worries worse than a dog. Obviously, or I wouldn't be here,” Gaku said, shrugging as if that should have explained everything. Of course it didn't, not a single thing.

“Want to talk about it?”

“About what?” he asked, trying to project a calm he didn't actually feel.

“Whatever it was that lead to you hanging up on Tarou-senpai,” Gaku said, glancing around before sighing and getting back up to his feet. “Come on, we'll do dinner.”

“S-senpai, I couldn't....”

“As hard as it wasn't to find you, you can't say no.”

“That doesn't even make sense....”

“Besides, I promised to find out what was wrong. I mean, unless you'd rather I got one of the cousins involved, but then you wouldn't have me to yourself anymore and wouldn't that be a shame?”

Hikarito couldn't tell if Gaku was _actually_ flirting with him or if he was losing his mind. Or maybe a bit of both. Gaku was certainly gorgeous, but then of course he was, it was practically a requirement of visual kei bandmen. Not that Hikarito had ever felt an attraction to men, but there was something almost magnetic about Gaku.

“Come on, you pick, I'll pay,” the guitarist insisted.

“I couldn't –.”

“Are you an ox bearer or something?” his senpai interrupted, pouting briefly before grabbing his arm and pulling him to his feet. “Last chance before I just pick a place.”

“Gaku-senpai!”

But it was useless to protest, the way his senpai was already dragging him towards the street. It didn't stop him from trying twice more before successfully yanking his arm back. But even that was useless as Gaku just looped his arm through his and insisted on walking them towards the nearest train station.

“Senpai....”

“This much reticence, it _must_ be bad. Hmm ... ah, I know just the thing. Aiolin, right? That's your band, yeah? I feel like I've seen that name around lately.”

Hikarito was at a complete loss for words. How was he supposed to respond to that without sounding completely egocentric?

“Um, yes, we've been active for a little over a year now and we're releasing an album in June,” he said, hoping that wouldn't sound too selfish.

“Have to have something new for the summer tour season, right?” Gaku said, laughing lightly. It sent a warm feeling pinging around his chest, even though that was ridiculous. And distracting, apparently, since they were suddenly walking into a place.

“Ah, Itoh-kaasan, two dinner orders to go please?”

“To go, to go, my Gakkun never comes and sits with me anymore,” a middle-aged Korean woman grumbled, coming around the counter at the same time Gaku finally let go of Hikarito's arm. How distracted was he, he didn't even know where they were, glancing around the small restaurant with its wall of windows showing they were several floors above street level.

“Not true, I was just in here last week,” his senpai protested while hugging the woman, but Hikarito was more interested in the fact that they had somehow entered a restaurant on the fourth or fifth floor of a building on a street he didn't even recognize. And couldn't possibly be anywhere near the shrine where Gaku had found him. What. The. Hell.

“And got your meal to go then, too! Twice! Ah, my busy, busy boy. Look at you, so skinny. How are you ever going to keep a good man with no meat on your bones?! And this one's even skinner than the last one! Food is not the enemy, boys!”

“Umma!” Gaku protested, though he was laughing and kissing her cheek. Hikarito was too startled by the woman's casual acceptance, even assumption that they were two gay men to even know how to respond.

“All right, all right,” the woman said, patting Gaku's cheek with a maternal fondness. “I'll be right back.”

Gaku was still grinning as he steered Hikarito over to the chairs beside the counter.

“Come here a lot?” he asked. What a mindless question ... but then his mind was decidedly empty at this point.

“Mm, best bulgogi in the ward, plus fresh kimbap all day. Hope you don't mind Korean food.”

“It's fine, though I haven't really had much Korean food, I don't think.”

“Well then, today's just full of new experiences for you, isn't it?” Gaku said, flashing him another smile that set off that tingling feeling again. He really wished it would stop.

As they left the restaurant, Gaku started asking him questions about his time in university. It was a line of questions with which Hikarito was pretty familiar – he knew his degree made him stand out a bit from his peers, most of whom had started in bands in high school and never looked back. The conversation was so familiar, so comfortable, he didn't realize where they were going until Gaku was showing him into an apartment.

“Make yourself at home, ne? Beer or water?”

“Um ... I guess I'll have what you're having?” Hikarito said, taking a seat beside the kotatsu still set up in the middle of the living space. The apartment looked about the same size as his own, maybe a little bigger, an open space that was artfully divided with screens and furniture to give the illusion of separate living and sleeping areas with a tiny kitchen space to the side. Not hard to tell Gaku was a musician, between the equipment and industry magazines that looked deliberately organized even in their scattered state, at least to Hikarito's eye. An open notebook showed tabs for a work in progress, but he closed it rather than poking his nose in uninvited.

“Oh right, sorry for the mess,” his host said, setting down two bottles of beer before sweeping up everything else from the kotatsu.

“It's not a problem,” Hikarito said, surprised when Gaku returned with real plates piled high with rice, some sort of stewed meat and vegetables, a neat stack of lettuce leaves, and more he didn't know what to call at all.

“Pork bulgogi with onions and peppers, lettuce to wrap up the meat, carrot and cabbage kimchi, and fresh kimbap because she knows I have a weakness,” Gaku explained with a grin. “And there's cake if you're interested. And more of everything, since Itoh-san is convinced I need fattening up, so if you want more....”

Hikarito had been half expecting Gaku to start pressuring him about his call with Arimura now that they were sat down with dinner. Instead, Gaku went right back to their conversation from their walk, interspersed with questions about the food and if he needed anything. He didn't exactly _mind_ , but it was making him nervous.,

“Oh _fine_ ,” his senpai said suddenly, getting up to clear away their empty plates. “So why _did_ you hang up on Tarou-senpai then?”

“It wasn't really ... I was taking him away from work, he had better things to do,” he said, picking at the label on his bottle.

“Okay, well, there was a bit of telephone before I got sent to find you, but I notice you have yet to deny hanging up on him. Kinda rude, isn't it?”

“I ... I'd already wasted too much of his time,” he mumbled, still not meeting his senpai's eyes.

“Bullshit,” Gaku said, snatching away the empty bottle before depositing himself in Hikarito's lap. “Did you call him or did he call you?

“He called me,” he said, trying not to squirm in his discomfort at being trapped. Either the guitarist didn't notice or didn't care, his arms coming up to rest on his shoulders.

“So senpai calls you but you still think you're involuntarily wasting his time? Now why would that be?”

Hikarito found himself staring at the delicate strands of Gaku's choker, eyes tracing the interwoven lines in an effort to keep from thinking about anything else. Like the warm weight in his lap. Fingers tilted his chin up, forced him to meet Gaku's frown.

“You said something. It wasn't just that you hung up, you asked something. Something that triggered his protective instincts. Something that made him turn to one of two, maybe three people. Something that lead to another senpai calling me, asking _me_ to find you. Out of all the people he knows – and he knows quite a few – he picked me. Now why would that be?”

“I ... I'm sure I have no idea what you mean,” he stammered. How was he supposed to know what had motivated someone he likely didn't know at all??

“You know _something_ ,” Gaku argued, fingers curling into Hikarito's hair. “You feel guilty, you're practically stewing in it. Hmm, maybe that's why he sent me – he knew I could get this close to you without making your head explode first.”

Hikarito really had no idea what to say to that. And then Gaku was kissing him, slow and seductive, begging for more rather than pushing for it. He leaned back and Gaku let him, though those fingers stayed curled in his hair.

“Gaku-senpai....”

“Wait, let me guess, this is where you tell me you're not gay? It's fine, I'm not either,” his senpai said with a half shrug. “But never underestimate how relaxing a little foreplay can be. Oh, unless you're demi??”

“Wh-what?”

“Demisexual? Someone who doesn't feel sexual attraction until after getting to know the other person?”

“Oh, um, then no, not that, but I'm not ... I mean you're very ... magnetic, but I'm not ... I haven't ever....”

“I thought all college kids experimented with alternate sexualities?” Gaku asked, a slight pout on his lips.

“Not this one,” Hikarito mumbled, dropping his eyes to the marginally safer space that was his senpai's chest.

“Well, now's your chance, Hikarito-kun,” the older guitarist purred, leaning in to brush another kiss to his lips. Hikarito leaned back again, falling backwards to the floor. But while Gaku shifted on top of him, planting hands palms flat on the floor on either side of his head, he didn't come any closer than that. It was ... confusing.

“Senpai ... why?”

“Are you actually asking me why I'm making passes at someone as gorgeous as you?” the other man asked, lips twitching in an obvious effort to limit himself to just a smile.

“No, no, I'm not anything...”

“Oh you so are,” Gaku said, giving up and actually chuckling that time. “If it bothers you, I'll stop. But then you really are going to have to talk more. About what you said to Tarou-senpai and why you have such a conflicted opinion of yourself.”

“What? I don't ... what are you talking about?”

“You said you felt you had wasted his time. He took you to lunch to talk about your cover of his song and music in general. How could that be a waste of his time? Unless you think you aren't worthy of his notice ... but you don't really think that, do you?” Gaku said, studying him with dark, piercing eyes.

“What? No, I don't ... I mean, that's not....”

“One way or the other, I'm going to figure it out, Hi-kun. You might as well help me, make it easier on us both. Or do I need to loosen your tongue up a bit more first?”

“I don't ... know what that means,” he mumbled. Long fingers trailed down his chest, freeing buttons from holes, while Hikarito felt like a trapped rabbit, unable to do anything but watch. Only when those fingers reached for his belt was he finally able to move, catching Gaku's wrist and stopping him cold.

“Stop.”

“Of course,” Gaku demurred, bowing his head a moment before sliding his hands back up Hikarito's chest, pushing his shirt open in the process. He shivered a little even though it wasn't that cold in Gaku's apartment, nervous for some reason. He wasn't even sure why, it wasn't like Gaku was doing anything threatening or predatory. Okay, he was being a little pushy, but he stopped when asked, when Hikarito pulled back.

“Tanuki?” his senpai asked suddenly and Hikarito froze. How in the seven hells....

“You _do_ know that site is pure trash, right? I mean some of it is real enough. And some of the 'girls' are actually desperate bandmen trying to get any attention they can.”

“I know it's a rumor mill, but....”

“ _Please_ tell me you didn't actually ask senpai about ... what drug is the flavor of the month, anyway? I haven't looked at that dumpster fire in years now.”

“I don't ... I didn't ... wait, why?”

“Tanuki's had rumors of Tarouneko-senpai using everything from pot to heroin for at _least_ the last fifteen years. If he did everything Tanuki claims, he'd be dead now,” Gaku said, rolling his eyes.

“I didn't realize things were that bad,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and scrubbing his face with his hand.

“What happened?” Gaku asked softly, fingertips brushing lightly against his cheek.

“I'm sure it was just supposed to be harmless teasing, but they wouldn't drop it,” he sighed, turning into the touch. “I only mentioned he was married to try to get them to stop, I'm not the kind of guy who'd sleep with a married anyone ... but that's when Sei-kun brought up Tanuki.”

“Anyone who thought about it for ten seconds would realize the bigger surprise would have been if Tarou-senpai had never been married. Not that it doesn't happen, but...,” Gaku said, trailing off with a low sigh. “But it's not really talked about outside the family. Wife and kids, either one,” he added as he petted Hikarito's hair. His eyes snapped open at that, something heavy lurching through his chest.

“Wife _and_ kids?”

“Mm-hmm. Pair of fraternal twins, they just turned three a couple months ago, they're adorable, but yeah, his private life is kept pretty private.”

He wasn't sure who he was angrier with, himself for ever doubting his senpai or Seiya for saying the shitty things in the first place. Closing his eyes, he sighed again. What a mess, how could he have been so....

“You asked about his family, didn't you?”

“How long he'd been married, but that's it,” he confessed with another sigh. If not for Gaku's weight on his hips and thighs, he would have ... actually, he wasn't sure what he would have done. Run away? Tried to hide? He really didn't know, but the urge to flee was strong and Gaku was the only thing keeping him from it.

“He's not mad at you, you know,” Gaku said. “Just worried. Especially since you kinda cut him off. At first I thought for sure I was going to find you in some ditch somewhere, as agitated as Haido-senpai was. I'm glad that's not what happened, but....”

“But?” Hikarito asked, cracking one eye open, curious in spite of himself.

“Sing for me?”

“W-what?”

“Sing for me? I haven't actually heard the song that started all this, I'm trying to understand....”

Hikarito started to protest – after all, his singing couldn't possibly be responsible for this, right? – before changing his mind with a shake of his head.

“Got a laptop or computer? Something with better sound quality than a phone....”

Gaku hummed, getting up and then offering Hikarito a hand up as well. He wasn't quite sure why until he realized his senpai had a desk and computer hiding under clothes and boxes of cables.

“Give it a couple minutes to wake up and get its shit together?” the guitarist suggested, setting aside the box in his hands. “Can I get you another beer or something?”

“Just water would be fine,” he said. By the time Gaku came back, he had the video up and ready. He still didn't think it was anything special ... or rather, he didn't feel like he had really _added_ anything. It was Plastic Tree's song, their hard work and genius, all he had done was transpose it from one set of instruments to another. No big deal.

“You undersell yourself,” Gaku said afterwards. “I could have maybe figured out the tabs by ear, but I sure as hell couldn't have done all that.”

“Anyone in my composition classes could have done the same thing,” Hikarito replied, shrugging.

“Doesn't make it any less impressive, Hikarito-san,” his senpai countered, shaking his head. “A thing doesn't have to be singularly unique to be special.”

“I guess,” he conceded, wondering if maybe now wasn't the time for him to make his exit. Before he ended up overstaying his welcome.

“Hmm, sure I can't convince you to experiment with me?” Gaku asked, smirking at him like he knew something.

“Senpai....”

“Oh stop, I'm not an asshole, Hi-kun,” the guitarist protested with a laugh. “But if and when you ever decide you're curious, give me a call, yeah?”

“I'll, um, keep it in mind?” he mumbled, feeling more embarrassed than he had in months, maybe years.

“Too cute,” Gaku said, still grinning. “We really need to do this again, without panicking the senpai first, yeah?”

“I, um,” but he didn't know how to respond to that.

“Precious! Go on then, before I eat you up!” his senpai said, laughing again. “Teasing! But you better call me. _Before_ your album drops, yeah? Or I _will_ hunt you down again! Already found you once, I can do it again in a heartbeat!”

“Yes, senpai, I will, senpai, I promise,” he said, bowing his way out of the flat. He had gotten himself mixed up in _something_. No idea _what_ , but definitely _something_. But maybe with some luck, it would prove to be a good thing? At least he hoped so.


End file.
